The fact of appearances can tell many things, sometimes even essential things, but there has always been exceptions because there are many who travel wide and far, and experienced much, who have stories to tell that amaze and mystify, and works that awe. The tragedy of the exceptional, I discovered in the recent year, is that the excuses lay bare the ugliness of human nature when it is turned to or cloaked in darkness. The mob mentality was outlined in the tragic novel Lord of the Flies, in which children turned against one another and then towards the apparently weakest, the creative sort, the type who could lead them to freedom. There was a glee in what the doomed child, if he could perceive it, would have seen as a terrible smog, a smittenness in the other children's own being tempted darkly into the dark methods and ways, the very meanness which in good society we try to avoid. That glee was not only in committing some deep wrong, but in getting away with any responsibility, getting away with a smirk remark intended to insult and offend, getting away with signaling and setting off chains of events that could only end badly for the one then too gleefully deemed doomed. Usually there is hardly any glee in apathy and indifference, but even that carries a certain perverted accomplishment of at least having had beat the other in the cruel race that symbolizes harmlessly the cruel world their perception makes.
In moments like these, I reflect on the myriad experiences that made my life full. Those secrets I hide away for when dark times come and I need a candy to prove the world is sweet, that being is light, that life is good. In moments like these, I try not to forget those who bravely and courageously take a stand, even for just a little while, and those who maintain my right in my absence, and try to do the same so others too will have a moment of happiness to store away.
There may be stirring feelings in harming others while imagining oneself to be some victim of some faceless cruel world, but when those are the only feelings that get you through the day, you should know corruption around you has occurred. No wrong is committed without the conscience speaking up and that is the consciousness of a normal functional being. Right is where good is done and the conscience is free so that consciousness and being themselves are free, so in doing good one is free and in doing right truth is won.
Whenever I think of the novel, I wonder at my sadness upon reading it. A group of children killing themselves and targeting the one who could only lead them to freedom. Then I chance upon reflection and in reflection I realize what great courage and masterfulness it was for Golding to speak up about the very condition of the world. Yet, my inquiry continues and this I cannot answer: whereupon one understands the deeper meaning of the world as an expression of good, as one beheld by God in Heaven as the fruit for humankind in its individuals, why then readers are unable to appreciate that their understanding of the bad does not prevent themselves from thoughtful contemplation to effect the fullness of their being? That in noticing what is wrong is the beginning to find the path of doing what is right, still that glee robs the being of its freedom and truth, in tempting one to be passive and inactive, or worse, in realizing one's own unbecoming actions?
So it is, now the country is on a perimeter in time as well as circumstances, and as well myself undergoing wrong after wrong, still the world it holds and the world before me continue on their humdrum glee that robs these people who effect wrongs plain to sight, for fear that in not grasping the glee they shall be robbed themselves of those naughty moments when one could commit a crime or a misdemeanor or worse, when in reality that glee has robbed them of the goodness they could be. The goodness of what inheres is the only compass one could ever find in the world at large which could be beheld with absolute certainty, the only wealth ever known, as was taught by the Lord, the only wealth and possession which has no shade of uncertainty. When the world outside is proved to be that which one in holism can perceive, perception itself gives itself away unless it is active and in activity realizes the self. Yet even then uncertainty shadows what is deemed to be external, while what is known to be one's own, one's own being, one's goodness, one's perceptions, one's actions - those are brought to the realm of knowledge direct to oneself only. So I ask now, question oneself before giving into the glee that leads to darkness.